What is it to be mindful, and how is it going to benefit you?
There are many definitions of mindfulness. The one I like best, is that it is when we intentionally bring our brains’ attention and our bodies’ presence into the same place, at the same time. Very often, we are physically present somewhere, but our minds are somewhere else entirely. That ability to decide, consciously that you are now going to pay full attention, and be present, is to my mind mindfulness in action.
It is so interesting how little time we spend in the present moment. We spend half our time feeling guilt or regret about the past, and the other half worrying about the future. The cliché that the reason why the present moment is called the present is because it’s a gift, is absolutely true. When we are not present in the present moment, we are missing out on our lives – like I missed the tooth-fairy.
What is your cost of not being present, in the present moment?
I remember reading in the news in 2008 of a professor at the University of Cape Town who had to drop off his toddler at relatives on his way to work. He was busy thinking about his day, and the little boy had fallen fast asleep in his car seat. The father parked his car at the lecturer’s car park at the university and went about his day. The alarm was raised three hours later and the father rushed to the car to find the little boy dead in the back of the car, due to intense heat inside the car. This father paid the ultimate price for mindlessness. When the media interviewed some of his students they said that “he was a busy guy,” “he was always rushing” and “he was very forgetful”.
I believe that life is like a car dashboard, where red flashing lights indicate problems. Just as our car indicates when we are running out of petrol or need an oil change, our life dashboard sends us messages too. These messages are mainly sent through our health and our body. Our body sends us signals all the time.
I remember giving a mindfulness presentation to a group of cardiologists a couple of years ago. They told me that no-one has a heart attack out of the blue – every single person who suffers a heart attack had a symptom at least a year before the attack. The most common symptom is reflux, they said. So if you or someone you know, is constantly taking antacid medication, then go get them or you checked out. Reflux is a red warning light on your life’s health dashboard.
I’ve realised through this work that we don’t lose our health, our marriages, relationships or team members overnight. There is a gradual process of decay and degeneration. If we mindfully pay attention when life whispers to us through our health or our emotional state, then we don’t have to wait for the shout that results in a health crisis, divorce, relationship breakdown or resignation of a team member.
I’d like you to think if there any potential red flashing lights on your dashboard that you need to pay attention to. One of the most recent warning lights I’ve encountered is constant phone use. If your constant engagement with technology is affecting your relationships with your team or your family, and people are complaining about it, sit up and take notice.
Mindfulness poem
When you shower, shower.
When you greet a friend, greet that friend.
When you peel a potato, peel a potato.
When you have to do admin, do the admin.
When you are tired, feel tired.
When you take a bite, take a bite.
When you laugh, laugh.
When you say hello to your child, say hello to your child.
When you rest, rest.
When you feel under pressure, feel the pressure.
When you exercise, exercise.
When you attend a meeting, attend the meeting.
Unknown
Mark Twain admitted at the end of his life that “I have spent most of my life worrying about things that never happened”. We all do this. Worrying about the future robs you of the present moment. Observe how much worrying you do, and if the nagging worry follows you relentlessly throughout the day, follow Scarlett O’Hara’s example in the movie Gone with the Wind.
Tell yourself “I’m not going to think about this right now, I’ll think about this tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day”.
Helen Nicholson is the CEO and Founder of The Networking Company.
Her new book “Mindfulness: How to stay sane in an insane world” will be out in October 2021.
