In any courageous conversation, there are three conversations playing out:
- The what happened? conversation: Most difficult conversations involve disagreement about what has happened or what should happen.
- The feelings conversation: Every difficult conversation also asks and answers questions about feelings.
- The identity conversation: This is the conversation we each have with ourselves about what this situation means to us.
Every difficult conversation involves grappling with these three conversations, so engaging successfully requires learning to operate effectively in each of the three realms.