Talenttalks - How to cultivate healthy connections

Welcome to a 3-part series I am thrilled to be sharing on Talenttalks. I am a Connection Coach and Self-Esteem Facilitator with a specific interest in helping parents to create and deepen family connection. It’s my intention to share tools that will benefit you in your role as a working parent and positively influence your relationships.

We would be hard-pressed to name another role that takes us on such a roller coaster ride of mixed experiences, emotions and demands than that of a parent. To stay on top requires superhuman effort and tireless emotional resilience. When we falter (as we do from time to time) it creates emotional and mental anguish, which further detracts from our ability to perform at our best and still be present and engaged with our family. Perhaps you identify with this?

I firmly believe that a family that nurtures healthy connection will thrive, be better able to overcome life’s inevitable challenges, and be more supported to excel as individuals. Coaching many working parents, I find the nagging presence of conflict and guilt are common themes that arise as a result of juggling work demands, parenting responsibilities and – for those with partners – all the factors associated with a relationship.

Perhaps you have asked yourself, ‘how can I make this year different?’ or ‘how can I better balance my responsibilities while growing and deepening my connections?’ In my experience it’s not that complicated, there is no magic formula, it will not happen overnight, and we can all do it. It involves awareness, intention, consistency, patience and attention.

Knowing what you want and having the intention to make positive changes is the first step.

Then, figure out what your values are – who and what matters most to you. This helps with decision-making when you are faced with conflicting priorities.

Here are a few questions to help you gain clarity:

What are your top 5 values?
Who shares these values with you?
How do these values show up in your approach to parenting and to work?
Which work for/against you in experiencing meaningful connection with your family?
What derails your best intentions?
In light of your values, what needs to change?

Give yourself time to ponder these questions. Discuss them with your partner, spouse or boss and begin to make decisions that will ultimately deepen connection and ease stress, guilt and conflict.

In my next article, I will share ideas on how to implement a plan of action and what to do when you stray off course.